The Book of Dsus

Chapter III Verse XV - The Golden Rule 2.0

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 13:51:00 +0000

My apologies to my readers for the late blogs. I will do my best to catch up by next week. Now, onto the babbling. . .

I would like to talk this week about a technique I learned to get more of the things I want.
Most of us have heard the saying, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I prefer the concept of karma, which I will define as "The effect of your actions on your life".

One of the things that I like about these theories is that they align with the scientific concept in Sir Isaac Newton's laws of motion that "For every action there is an equal but opposite reaction". I like this because when something is true it has a habit of appearing in several forms.

I wondered if this large theory of action coming back to us could be visible in a more practical time frame. I was thinking this because generally it's not a very fun theory. That's because we tend to think that even if we do get good things back we have to wait so long that we can't tell what caused them anyway. For a reward system to alter our behavior it's important to make a connection between behavior and reward. So I wanted to find a way to close the gap between my actions and the effects they might have.
As I was thinking all that I checked my inbox for an email that I really wanted to get. I did not get that email. At the same time I read an email from someone that I knew was waiting on me to respond, probably urgently. As I testily ignored this email it occurred to me that the situation was an opportunity to try something that I could watch for a direct effect.

What if I emailed this person waiting for me and watched to see if it had an effect on the email I wanted to receive? So I did. That is not to say that my sole purpose in writing to the person waiting on me was to get the result. Rather, I made the exercise a priority, wrote the email honestly and with love. Since I was in the same position as they were, it was easier to understand the importance of writing it.
So I wrote it and sent it and forgot about the whole thing. Until I got the email I was waiting on. I don't remember if it was in an hour or the next day but it was fast. Not to mention that this was an email I was not sure I was going to get at all (girls . . . . what can I say?). Now, maybe this was convenient timing and maybe I'm seeing what I want to see. But I think it's worth consideration.

I have tried this trick many times and have always been rewarded. Not always in the manner I would like but enough so that I never regret the effort. If I want someone to listen, I listen. Especially someone I find hard to listen to but wants to talk to me. Again, the point is to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, to understand their perspective. Often that is enough to make us reevaluate what we want.

So if you want something in life, give it away.
Want people to be nicer. . . hold the door open more.
Want people to say good morning more. . . say good morning to more strangers.
Here's the really hard one:
Want some more money. . . give some away.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse XIV - School Sucks

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:07:00 +0000

I hated school, I think on every single level. The teachers, the work, the other children, the schedules, the books; all of it., Years after graduation, I am left with the feeling that school is an extraordinary place to learn about the way our society works but a bad place to learn how to have a fulfilling life.

3 reasons I feel our education system sucks:

Relevance, anyone?
Much of what we learn in school is not what we need to know. People and animals are alike in the way we approach learning. We all learn what we need to know, when we have to know it. If we do it a lot we get better at it. But in our schools, we teach things that make us better workers but not better people.

Many of us have, at best, a limited awareness and understanding of our country's legal, political or economic structures. These three areas shape much of our lives and their quality. Even though most of us will spend our lives suffering because of our limited understanding of such basic tools of society, we fail to prioritize their study. The suspicious side of me wanders if the curriculum is kept bare of concepts that will teach us to demand better laws, leaders and public service. But maybe it's just easier to stick with theories about triangles than explain why our country takes years to hold a trial.

F for Failure
Another problem is the way we measure results. It is difficult to define intelligence. A definition from wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn explained it as: "the ability to comprehend; to understand and profit from experience". I like that but it leads to the question: How does a teacher know that a student understands what is being taught and will use it to enrich their lives? Most of the time they can't know.

Figuring out if a child will use the math they learned to work out the interest payments of a 30-year mortgage is impossible. So we test them. This tidy solution makes everything more digestible. "Read this information, write it down and in a few days or weeks, I'll ask you to give it back to me in the same form I gave it to you." But in many cases it makes it too tidy. It puts our focus on memorization and away from learning to learn. Worse, it needs consistency to work. You can't tell a child that his drawing is more beautiful than another child's since beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But you can tell a child that they got a B on his drawing because they did not stay in the lines. The problem is, all you have taught them is to stay in the lines, not to use his drawing to communicate.

Kids don't like it
Most children do not enjoy going to school. This is acceptable and even expected because many of us are sure that anything that's good for us has to feel bad. But why do so many kids dislike school? Probably because it's just like real life with less free will. For seven hours a day someone else tells them how they are wrong, most of what they do is for an otherwise meaningless prize (a good grade) and everything about the environment reminds them of their subordinance to people who aren't clear about their goals. While most children can learn a video game well enough to play within a few hours, school is a boring place where even the most miraculous knowledge is presented in predictable, often self-serving ways with little connection to the child's present life.

"A child is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be lit," -Plutarch.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse XIII - 5 Ways to drive much more betterer!

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:15:00 +0000

If you’ve read my earlier blog on driving, you might have guessed it’s not my favourite experience. Apart from the 900-degree weather, other drivers and poorly laid-out roads make it more of an adventure than a necessary part of mobility. After 12 years behind the wheel, many accidents and a lot of reflection, I would like to offer some advice.

Look where you are going
Although most of us do not gaze into the distance when we are walking, many people have no problem taking their eyes off the road. Messing with the stereo, reaching for that candy in the back seat, we often look away for “a second” (so many bad accidents have happened in that terrible “second”). Just like ‘keeping your eye on the ball’ it is essential to look in the direction you are going. This includes looking behind you when you are reversing. Years ago a friend of mine - who was a veteran of several rally races - told me that the car tends to follow your eyes. If you look where you want the car to go, it goes there. So don’t look at that lamppost you are trying not to drive into, look to the space next to where you want to go.

Slow down
In our world of Faster! Faster! Faster! many of us are in a rush to get where we are going. I like driving fast; it sends cool breeze through the window and the world looks peaceful as blurred scenery. But it is best to drive at a speed you can control. The advice I have gotten is to keep a foot in front of you for every mile per hour - 50mph = 50 feet.
When you find yourself edging up to the car ahead at a red light, slamming on the brakes repeatedly and losing control on turns, you are probably in too much of a rush. Remember how much longer it will take to wait for the police, file insurance forms and explain to everyone why you had an accident.

Don’t let ‘backseat driving’ get to you
Whether reversing, parking or choosing a route, pay attention to what you do and don’t be pressured by others. This includes: friends-“Pass out these five cars man!”; family, “it’s faster if you go a way you have never been before while I forget to tell you where to turn. . . ” (I’m translating); or random jonsers/street wanderers who have graciously decided to make a career out of guiding you out of a parking space, despite the fact that they have not driven since cars came with tape decks. Only you will be held responsible for your actions. You can’t tell the insurance company, the courts or somebody’s mother that you killed a friend because another friend “told me to do it”.

Wear your seatbelt
Maybe it’s not cool and it’s not always comfortable but wearing a seat belt accomplishes a number of positive things. It helps you sit up straight with your eyes on the road. It keeps you from reaching all around the car. It helps you avoid shooting through the windshield at high velocity. Wearing it nearly every time I drive has saved me a lot of injury on a number of occasions, possibly death.

Relax
While it is tempting to work yourself into a frenzy every time someone cuts you off or pulls in front of you, life is short and stress is a killer. Most of the time, just let it go. Chances are you have done exactly the same thing to someone in the last day or two.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse XII - The Power Off...

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0000

It’s that time of year again. That time when you can’t tell if that layer of wet clinging to your skin is a result of your just-finished shower or that sheen of ever-present sweat that brings to mind words such as ‘tropical’ and ‘hell’. And what summer season would be complete without frequent, random failures of the Bahamas Electricity Corporation? I would like to focus on these power failures and their genesis this week. My goal is to awaken a sense of national responsibility (rather than it’s more popular but lazier brother, ‘national pride’).

A nation’s power supply is arguably as essential as its food supply. On a personal level a lack of power can cripple our homes quickly; no hot water (if you depend on a well and pump no water at all), no iron, no fridge and of course, no fans or air conditioners. Businesses and schools without generators are equally challenged as their essential services shut down.
As the cost of oil rises so does the cost of each kilowatt hour. This puts the price of living directly into the hands of the heartless profiteers who control this planet’s supply of oil.

It is presently illegal to use solar energy or wind energy or any alternative form of electricity supply if B.E.C. is available. This offends me since I don’t think it’s a good idea to force people to use an overworked, sporadically-functioning power supply instead of developing more practical, less expensive ways to create electricity for their homes and businesses.

In fact, I think solar energy and its research should be a national priority. I would love to see the College of The Bahamas develop a solar energy department to study, test and implement new power solutions. We continue to produce doctors, lawyers, accountants and architects but how many of these do we need? I would be happier to announce that we had developed a new solar energy system developed by Bahamians for Bahamians than to watch another Doctor’s office open on Centreville.

As the cost for a gallon of gas rises to more than the price of a fast-food lunch, more of us are beginning to realize that world events affect our daily lives. If we, as a nation, do not learn to take care of our basic needs we are going to be left behind. I suppose I should say further behind since many nations are depending more on bio-diesel and solar, wind and hydro power.
With little in the way of resources, our country has made a living by selling our services. Mostly we provide hotels, taxis and tour guides. That’s fine, but I would like to see the day when our schools and businesses push for more practical trades like agriculture, information management and of course, energy production.

I imagine the whole country coming alive as we announce a new national goal of alternative energy in every government building, with energy systems that were designed and built by Bahamians. Perhaps I am dreaming. But I think it’s time that we set national goals beyond tourism, sports and politics. It’s time we argued about something less vague than ‘reducing crime’.

With energy prices rising faster than the mercury in our thermometers this is the perfect time to encourage individuals to become more independent. Will B.E.C. lose that much money? Isn’t it overworked already? Besides, it exists to serve us. If it is inefficient or out-of-date it needs to adapt or die. For too long we have suffered the effects of government monopolies that, with no incentive to improve, hold us hostage, forcing us to suffer terrible service and worse prices.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse XI - Free God Now!

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0000

Oh yeah, I’m back. For everyone who notices or reads this, I’m here again to make your lives more complex. I missed you, my quiet group of readers. May your brains swell with love for all creation. Anyway . . . . .

Back to my religious rant. . . Many of us lead double lives; one for God, one for us. We go to church for God, we work for ourselves. Sometimes we want God right there with us and sometimes we wish the good Lord was busy watching children in Africa. This is why so many of us like the idea of a church. God is over there at church, not out here watching what I’m doing . . .

Maybe it’s easier for us to say “I go to church and pray before I eat” than it is to say “I was going to take that job because it had such a high salary but I would have to do things that I believe are wrong”.

But what if God isn’t some judgmental-Santa-Claus type who is keeping a record of things to decide if we are going to heaven or hell? What if God wants us to learn to make better decisions so we can have a better life, including good sex, fulfilling work and material possessions? If that was the case, then it would be pretty stupid not to listen all the time, right?

But if we start thinking like that, we might have to let God out of church. And we don’t want God getting into what kind of shoes we buy and what food we eat and how we treat the opposite sex.

Of course, a big part of that problem is that we trust someone else’s opinion about what God wants. So if we want to know what kind of clothes to wear we gotta ask our parents or our pastor and who wants to dress like them, right?

Well, even if you don’t want to take responsibility for it, it’s your life. If you want to do things that negatively affect you and those around you and then say “I didn’t know” or “My pastor didn’t tell me about that” be my guest. It will leave you confused and afraid. But, if you are ready to take responsibility then why not take a look at things. Are you happy with the choices you make? Do you make them because other people respect them and value them or because you do?

However you define God, it seems that negative actions have negative reactions. If you choose to ignore the fact that thousands of people suffer so that you can buy cheap shoes and coffee and tobacco then you will live in a world where people are enslaved to provide you with cheap shoes, coffee and tobacco. That’s it. No complex thinking there.

Of course positive actions have their own reactions. You may find out that a shoe company that takes the time to ensure that it’s workers have a good life also takes the time to make sure it’s customers are happy. Hmmmmm . . . .

But why worry about such social questions? It’s much easier to discuss the immoral way other people, religions and nations are acting than to work towards genuine social health. As long as they don’t ask us to give up too much of our possessions or to come too often, most of us are happy to spend $5 or $10 buying peace of mind from church every Sunday (or Saturday).

“What you have become is the price you paid for what you used to want. “ - Unknown

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse X - The Greatest Story Never Told

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0000

I like to talk about God. I like to talk about religion. I don’t so much like to talk about the Bible. I should like to talk about it because I like talking about things that people can relate to. But while many people have heard of the Bible and will shout from the top of a mountain that it is the holy word of God, I have met few people that have read it. That leaves me a little. . . confused.

If someone tells you that they believe God wrote a book and that they live their life according to the rules and guidelines of that book I think it’s reasonable to expect them to have read the thing. Apparently I’m alone in this opinion.

If I believed that God wrote a book with all the information I would ever need I would read the thing cover to cover. At least twice. But I don’t think God wrote the Bible. I’m not sure he got a copy of the rough draft. I do believe the Bible includes many philosophies and concepts which one could call divine, holy and/or Godly. But to me, these are swallowed up by the ignorance it promotes.

I don’t want to focus on the historical reasons that make me uncomfortable with the Bible because there is too much to cover and I don’t get enough feedback to justify that kind of research yet. What I want to do is make you think.

If I told you that I had a book that proved aliens had landed what are some of the first questions you might ask? Let me guess a few:

Who wrote it?
Where did you get it?
How do you know it’s real?
What does it say?

I think that’s a good start. So how about asking those questions about that most sacred of books?

Who wrote it? And since the Bible is a collection of books, who wrote those books and who did the collecting?
Where did you get it from? Did it appear on the floor after Jesus rose up on his cloud? If not, who wrote the first version?
How do you know it’s real? If I told you I knew my alien book was real because my priest/mother/uncle/friend said so you would tell me that me and my priest/mother/uncle/friend are C/R/A/Z/Y.
What does it say? Seems like the easy one, huh? Of course since most people have never read it they don’t know. They know what their pastor tells them though.

I think the reason many of us love the Bible is because it’s easier to love a book than it is to love God. God is such a big concept, either we envision him as some Santa-Claus-on-a-cloud figure or an invisible spirit in the universe. But a book is different. We can see a book. We can touch a book. Hell, maybe we can even read it. We can say we love that book and someone else will know exactly what we are talking about.

Maybe it's because it’s just so much easier to say, “I believe in the Bible” than it is to say, “I believe that God is bigger than I will ever understand so I’m going to spend my whole life asking questions and exploring this beautiful universe; never assuming I know it all, never stopping my quest for the truth, never being afraid to hear new ideas that might expand my knowledge and my capacity to live as God intended”.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse IX - Ears; More Than Just Jewelry Holders

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 04:00:00 +0000

“God gave you two ears and one mouth so you can listen twice as much as you talk.”
I love this statement because it is a practical way to remember that you learn more from your ears than your mouth. I admit that I talk a lot more than I should. Many of us do. But when I listen I’m good at it. So I want to share a few things that I do that have enriched my conversations tremendously.

Shut the ^@#$ up!
Too often when we talk we interrupt each other. We think we know what someone is going to say next and in our rush for the spotlight we start talking over them. Or we are arguing about something and are anxious to make another point in the middle of the other person’s point. A conversation is a give and take of words. If you don’t let someone finish their sentence why do you think they are going to be open to what you’re saying? That is just stupid.

Check your ego at the door
Many times conversations devolve into each person trying to show how smart, right, strong or powerful they are. There are three types of conversations in this world: Those where I win, those where you win and those where we both win. If you are into winning then good luck to you, some days you win, some days you lose.
If you lose all the time then get to work. Examine the way you carry yourself and present your point of view. You might be setting yourself up for a loss.
Thankfully though, some of us realize they will not always be the smartest, strongest, fastest person in the group. But by knowing when to speak and when to listen, they learn and they teach. And they have a steady stream of people begging for leadership (and sex).

What is your goal?
Even if you are talking trash with your friends, you have a goal. Either he is trying to tell you something or vice-versa. I don’t think you need to do a survey but a quick check of what you want to accomplish will keep things in perspective.
Say you are arguing about the crime problem in The Bahamas. Your friend has just told you that she thinks we should whip convicted rapists in Rawson Square. You disagree and are thinking of how to respond. You want to tell her she is wrong and why but what if you take a moment to consider your goal?
Do you really want to convince your friend that her point of view is incorrect? If the first thing you say is a disagreement, you are going to put her on the defensive. Then the two of you are going to start arguing about a bunch of hypothetical bullshit that neither of you really has a clue about. Since your conversation is not really going to influence whether anyone actually gets whipped, the only result of this conversation will be about sharing and learning how each other FEELS.
So when your friend makes a statement like ‘I think they should whip convicted rapists in Rawson Square’, why not try a question or two? Questions such as: Why do you feel that way? Why in Rawson Square? After you give her a chance to express her point of view, she will most likely be interested in hearing your thoughts. Then maybe you both come away with some learning. And the next time you talk about punishing rapists you will be able to draw on the experiences of two people instead of one.

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

NOTE:
I am considering suspending this blog to contribute to other sections of Wodens Way. Please use the comments section of this week’s blog to tell me if you would prefer that I continue to post every week. The suspension would be for 4 weeks at the most. Note that comments from people who use their names or emails will be taken much more seriously than anonymous posters.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse VIII - Truth in The Media; Story at 11

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 04:00:00 +0000

We like to talk about how biased the media is. As usual when we generalize, some is true and some isn’t. As a truth seeker, I offer some tips for reading the news. Perhaps we can remove some of the bias while we are at it.

When sorting through the crap that passes for information these days it can be difficult to figure out where the garbage stops and the truth begins. Here are two things that may help:

1. How many people are saying the same thing?
a. Look at the information that everyone agrees on. If three news stations and two newspapers give you the same info there is likely some truth to it. It is also important thing to consider the part of the story that Fox News(How dare they put those two words together?) and the BBC News disagree on. This is not a foolproof method however, because many stories start from one or two sources. If these sources are bad then the basic elements of the story may be false.

2. Did they really say it?
a. Listen and read carefully. You can usually tell when a reporter does not have all the info. Consider the following two ways to report the same story: Police said a male body was found at Lyford Cay at 8.20 this morning. Officer Evans Walter said the man had been shot in the head. This is an example of a trustworthy sentence. The reporter could be lying but there is no confusion about what they are trying to express. On the other hand, we often get statements like; There were reports of a man’s body discovered in a wealthy eastern community this morning. Witnesses said he appeared to have been stabbed. Who made this report? Which community? What do you call wealthy? Which witnesses? How did he appear to have been stabbed; did they see a knife or the wound? The key is to remember what they actually said and what they are guessing at. Also notice that the second one has incorrect info. This is more common than you think.

Another thing to remember is that news does not look like news until it’s reported. People seem to have this idea that news makers have a magic machine that tells them what is important, how to write it and where to put it in the paper. They don’t. They get information from phone calls, other news providers, the government, organizations and the general public. It is not easy to tell which of this information is going to be important. Often you will get three calls at a time. Most of the time one reporter will have to deal with all three. It’s easy to look back and say, they should have spent more time on that story instead of this one but it’s not always easy to see that when it’s happening. So you concentrate on the one that you think is most important and keep an eye on the other two. And if you are wrong about it and miss a big story your ass is toast.

Bottom line? Check it out yourself. If something interests you, research it. Scan ten stories on the same subject. Learn about the people and organizations involved. You may find out that company you thought was so community minded is being sued for not paying national insurance. Call the ministry about something other than getting your cousin a job. Report that leaky pipe that is spewing our tax money all over the road. And make sure that what comes out of your mouth is as factual as possible.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse VII - Respect My Authority!

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:00:00 +0000

Many times when wandering the Bahamian landscape we run into a situation where we are not going to be in control. Maybe a policeman is directing traffic, a security guard is going to search us or a nurse is going to tell us to take off all our clothes. Yay.

This loss of control is often made even more unpleasant by the fact that many of us seem to go through a strange change when we get any sort of power. We become power-happy asses. These folks are often easy to spot. They are loud, insistent and unbending. They like to belittle, to remind and to point out. Perhaps you recognize the following species:

Drivus likanassus – This beast appears after a person has emerged victorious from a driving battle and gotten in front of you. Now that they are in front, they are going to do their best to drive as slowly as possible, drift into the middle of the road and generally remind you that they are in control.

Dumbanddangerous policeikus – This is a police officer who has been given more power than brains. This particular type of offender believes that his highest purpose in life is to remind all non-police officers of their lower social status. They can often be seen strutting back and forth, looking suspiciously at every male in the area and reminding you which areas are off-limits.

Insecuritas guardita - Though less dangerous than the Dumbanddangerous policeikus, the Insecuritas guardita can be just as frustrating. This is especially true when they in charge of concert tickets, information or anything more complicated than opening a door. They can often be heard trying to sound tough saying things like “take your time big man” or “hold on sweet girl” and been seen fiddling with the volume of a radio that they never talk into.

Queen bee-atch - This is a person with information that you need. They are at the bank, at your school and in many offices. You don’t like talking to them because they are evil. But they know something that you need to know. Sadly, the more specific your question the more vague an answer you will receive. When you also consider the fact that they will only answer one question at a time, you end up at this kind of conversation:

You: Good afternoon, I’m looking for Mr. Smith in room 103. I have an appointment. Can you tell me how to get to room 103 please?
Queen bee-atch: (Not looking up from her very important work) Mmmmmmmmm?
You: I’m here to see Mr. Smith in room 103. I have an appo. . . .
Queen bee-atch: Mr. Smith?
You: Yes.
Queen bee-atch: Does he know your coming?
You: Yes. I have an appointment.
Queen bee-atch: Do you know what room he is in?
You: Yes, 103.
Queen bee-atch: Do you know how to get there?
You: No. Can you tell me?
Queen bee-atch: Yes. But Mr. Smith left at half day because he was not feeling well.
You: (Pull out your oversized firearm and fire it until the chamber’s empty.)

There are a lot of examples, sadly. Why we so often become the people we hate is beyond me. My guess is that some of us feel that we lack control in our own lives and enjoy the opportunity to feel important. Too often we forget what it is like to be the person on the other end. Respect should be earned, not forced. When you use a position to control others you rob that position of its true authority, which is always created by responsibility.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse VI - That looks like someone I know

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:00:00 +0000

With the world watching a black man compete for one of the most powerful positions on the planet I think it's a great time to think about how important it is that your leader look the way you do.

Seeing Barack Obama in the United States presidential race is for me, amazing. A black president was something I was hoping my children would see, maybe. Now it is closer than ever and I'm overjoyed to have witnessed this much even if I fear for Mr. Obama's personal safety.

One of the things that makes me feel that people in The Bahamas (and the Caribbean in general) have an advantage over black people in America is the fact that our leaders look like we do. As a child I believed I could grow up to be Prime Minister or a Supreme Court Justice or Chief of Police. I would just have to work hard (I did not know much about politics obviously).

But for a black American child it must be hard identifying with the people in charge. So many of the people who shape society in America look like they live on a different planet from the people whose lives they influence. They dress different, sound different, smell different, walk talk and act, different. I would imagine this makes it easy to dislike authority and see it as something outside of yourself.

On a more balanced note, here we are in the Bahamas. We have dark leaders, bright leaders, male and female leaders. Boys and girls can dream of being anything they want to be no matter what economic or racial category they fall into. I'll be happier when we have had a female Prime Minister but we are doing better than a lot of nations. As deep as life is, sometimes it's just as simple as "If they can do it, so can I".

So I want Obama to win just because he is black. The fact is that if nothing else his victory will make it easier for another black person to do it. It will make black people all over the world feel proud. If he is president, no matter what he does or what mistakes he makes he will be remembered as the first black president of America. The sooner we get that out of the way the better.

I do wonder how much difference the race and gender of our leaders makes in our Bahamaland. Do we treat people better if they look like us? I'm not sure. I don't expect our PM to solve the world's racial problems unless his last name ends in Buddha, Christ or Selassie I. But I do think they could do more to improve our self image and self awareness.

The movers and shakers in the media, religion and politics often stay far from controversial topics such as racism, gender inequality and economic oppression, leaving us to our own interpretations. The ones that do have a lot to say are often misinformed or uninformed. And then there are those who use popular emotional issues as a chance to further their own agenda.

But these gripes are true of many leaders. The fact is that we live in a world that treats us differently based on our colour. It is often a war for resources. In the heat of the battle it makes me feel better to know that the person in charge looks enough like me to be fighting for some of the same things. I hope that my black American brothers and sisters will get the chance to see what this feels like sooner rather than later.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse V - She loves me not

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:00:00 +0000

This week I want to talk about women who manipulate guys that like them. They know they are never going to be intimate with the guy but still flirt and encourage.

Maybe she uses him for a ride, maybe to boost her self-esteem but she is using him. She accepts gifts, encourages devotion and teases. I don't think there is anything under the heavens more ambiguous, confusing or misleading than a woman's actions when she wants to keep you in the grey.

Every guy has suffered through trying to figure out a girl's feelings. This is hard enough for the male animal when the girl actually does like him. When she is messing with his head he has little hope. On one hand his brain is getting signals that the woman is not into him, on the other hand (the one he is using more and more because of said female's actions) the girl is sending signals as though she might/will/could be interested soon.

The switch from distant to inviting is easiest to see when a guy starts to move too far away. Maybe he realizes that this woman is playing him and says, 'Screw it. I'm not calling her no more." The girl, realizing he is starting to catch on, will do something just hot enough to keep him thinking he has a chance. She'll spend time with him, tease him with sex, play with him, touch him (just enough) making sure he knows that sex could happen at any second. But sex won't happen at any second. The guy will find that out the moment he goes too far. The girl will have to go or work or have her period or some other shit. Something will come up or change or stop the sex. And that something is the girl.
The only escape for our guy is to recognize the pattern. How does he do that? Stop being a punk. Yes rejection hurts. A lot. But being manipulated hurts a lot frickin' more. Seriously.

You want to know if a girl likes you? Ask her. Don't let her be vague. Tell her what you want. If you want to be lovers and she wants to be friends it's better that you both know. There is no shame in liking someone that does not like you. That's chemical. Get over it. That way you are not lying to yourself or confusing the kind of relationship you have. You know and she knows that you both want different things. That's important for a team of any size. You will be surprised how often a girl will open up to you and chase you when you are honest and direct. The same girl that did not want to be close to you when you were vague will often start to take an interest when you make your goals clear. Clear goals are masculine. Too many guys (and girls) would rather imagine feelings and situations than actually live them.

Does she like me? Ask her! What does she want from me? Ask her! Am I a friend or possible lover? Ask her! And don't let the answer drift into some vague bullshit. Either she thinks you are fuckable or not. Anything that sounds like: "I love you but not in that way," or "You are like a brother," or "I don't want to ruin what we have," only means one thing: I do NOT find you sexually attractive!

In closing, many of the girls I have known told me they just don't know how to say, "It aint gonna happen". Work on it!!!!!!!!!! Send an email, write a text. Say clearly, "we are not going to have sex no matter what you do". Say it every time he hits on you, every time he asks. A guy who finds you attractive will probably always want to have sex with you. If you don't keep telling him 'No' he will start getting hopeful.
The second note is that some guys don't take the hint. Guys, please pay some more attention to the girls. If she aint trying to spend time with you, if she does not listen to you, if she does not seek you out, chances are she is not into you. But don't take my word for it, ASK!

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse IV - Dsus Touched Me

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:00:00 +0000

I got a forward this week warning of a new rape technique. The subject was a drug called Progesterex and a new trend of guys using it to drug women as part of a date-rape plot. Scary email.

It took 0.13 seconds for Google to find results for the term Progesterex and tell me that it is part of an internet hoax. The same thing was true for the Tommy Hilfiger story and his imaginary interview on Oprah where he supposedly said that he doesn't want black people wearing his clothes. The only time Hilfiger has been on Oprah was to squash that rumor.

The idea of sharing information with each other is great. At its best, a forward enriches my life or protects me from the bad data out there. At its worst, a forward is an attempt to show me how smart/cool/important someone is. Either way, it does not take that long to copy and paste a couple of key words into Google to find out if what you are sharing is useful or crap.

I remember waiting for weeks for the right combination of
A: Tape that could record (or had paper stuffed in the holes at the top)
B. Radio that could record and
C: ZNS DJ.

But today, there is the 24-hour data stream known as the World Wide Web. Here you can donate money to various charities by clicking on a link or adding a symbol to your messenger window. Search for the life story of Jesus, Hitler or Gandhi. Check out a lesser-known rapper on MySpace or shop for products from every corner of the planet. Of course most of us are busy with porn, but it’s up to you.

On the other side of the web is this ubiquitous network called electronic mail. How many of us would send letters compared with how many of us send email? But since we stopped licking stamps we all got sloppy. Now every chain letter ever written and every sappy story of good things happening to poor people must be sent to ‘All in Inbox’. Stop!

When you are sending email or posting data consider the following items. If it isn’t worth thinking about this list then it’s not worth sending the forward.

Take a moment to find out if it’s true. The major networks may lie but they are not going to miss the opportunity to sell you an easy story like a new date rape drug. That’s easy headlines right there.
Make data easy to access so that the person can see it without scrolling through lines of gibberish.
Forward the window with the actual message. Do not forward the original email. That way the recipient will not have to open message after message - each with successive layers of flaming, glowing and otherwise animated text - to read some crappy message that is probably a full of empty sentiments about Jesus. I’m gonna make a Jesus-forward virus. Consider yourself warned.
Delete everyone else’s email from the message before you send it. Leaving a long list of your friend’s emails is a great way to make sure they get junk mail and viruses (like the one I plan to send). In fact, send blind copies so no-one else can see that you have sent it to 99 other people.

If you want to blame big business for the limited content of television, movies, music and magazines go ahead. The great profit machine owns all of the big ones. But the internet is ours if we want it. Share wisely.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse III - Waiting-for 'No'

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 07:00:00 +0000

This week I offer a small piece of a large topic – the interaction between Males and Females. This small part is what I’m going to call the Wait-for-‘No’ factor. The idea is that when you are trying to figure out whether it’s the right time to touch, kiss, hug, cuddle, whatever, wait until you hear ‘No’. Most importantly, do not wait for yes.

This applies to both genders but with most of the action starting with the guys, this is likely to be a more important tool for them. Still, understanding this waiting-for-‘No’ reasoning is useful to both genders.

A lot of guys like to wait to hear ‘Yes’ from a girl. They don’t want to be pushy; they want to show you that they care. Of course sometimes they just want to convince you of these things so that you will sleep with them but hey, people lie, watch out.

In the case of the average guy, however, his motives are good, I salute him. Respect our women; they are the Mother of Creation, Hail Empress! The funny thing is, a lot of times this guy doesn’t know what form his much-anticipated yes will come in. He is often barely asking the girl anything in the first place. Sometimes our innocent lady wishes the guy would get a clue and just do it already.

So if you are waiting to hear yes from a girl think about this: What do most guys and girls call a girl who likes sex? A slut. Oh yeah, girls can like sex with their husbands, quietly. They are permitted to enjoy it a little with one or two long-term boyfriends. But how many of us know a man that wants to marry a virgin? And even a confident, sexually assertive Bahamian woman does not advertise the number of partners she has had. That would not be’ ladylike’. She is a prize after all.

A woman can’t say yes because then the responsibility is shared. She does not want any of the responsibility for the sex, that’s your problem. She might be down for the sex. If the two of you are alone she has probably planned the moment more than you realize but the responsibility is yours. Of course that’s fine with you, isn’t it? You want the sex. You don’t mind being the one who wanted sex, who overwhelmed her normally bullet-proof defenses with your charm and your tenderness, right? No, of course not, this is sex we are talking about.

So if she is alone with you and has not told you to leave or to stop, then keep going. If you have not started anything, then start. If she says ‘No’ then stop what she said no to. When she wants you to back off she will make it clear. Listen.

Another important part of the challenges we face in our interactions is that many of us guys make sure the women around us know that we value their sex and little else. We don’t listen to women’s ideas, needs or wants, except when they lead to, or are about sex. Many men cannot name a woman they admire (not including ‘mummy’). They can’t name a woman they would want to be like or name a female quality they respect. If you ask a woman the same questions about men they can do it fairly easily. Sad.

In ways like this, sex becomes more of a commodity than a shared experience. But the waiting-for-'No' approach can clear away some of the grey area between the two. It works when you are asking for phone numbers as well as sex. Small steps, right?

- Dsus Pays

Chapter III Verse II - Drinking Age

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 07:00:00 +0000

How old do you need to be to drink in The Bahamas? 'Old enough to reach the bar' is an answer I have heard and used more than once. One of the things I appreciate about my Bahamian people is the average citizen’s respect for liquor. We have liquor at most of our gatherings, if not for our Christian friends then for the others. Our nation’s relationship with the spirits has it’s downsides but I would like to take a happy perspective.

I have never had a Bahamian teenager beg me to buy them liquor because they were not old enough. Oh yeah, I have had a young’un beg me for a beer at a party or ask me for a sip of rum, but I have never seen the sort of conspiring and plotting that goes on in some cities as under-aged children search for accessible alcohol.

So many young Americans (here and in their native land) drink their way to oblivion. Many of us have stood outside Waterloo or the Zoo watching tourist after tourist come staggering out, collapsing, vomiting and generally unstable. With near suicidal vigor they guzzle one after another until all grip on reality is lost and a violent stomach emptying is assured. This is repeated until they return to the land of 21-and-over only. So why the difference?

Both Bahamian children and the children of our stricter neighbors to the north see the same thing: Grown-ups having a good time with alcohol. Children copy adults. It’s how they learn to survive. The difference comes because most Bahamian adults are willing to give a sip. I don’t find this when I talk to my foreign friends. They often have a lot of distance between them and the adults around them. So sad.

Should we give a young person alcohol? I can’t answer that for anyone. I will say that when children experiment with their guardians they learn to trust, to listen and to learn from them. If you don’t tell them what rum is, show them what it tastes like and tell them the truth, who will they turn to? That’s right, their friends. The same dummies you tell them to ignore. It is usually the bad ones too, since they are the ones with the liquor.

Still, when I was growing up it would have been no great feat to get a bottle of liquor or wine. Even if you did steal a sip or two from the cupboard to share among little plastic cups it was a one-day thing. This was often followed by days of terror that someone would notice how much less there was in the bottle. And it just did not taste good enough to repeat the process.

At a party the worst alcoholic pressure is usually having enough money to buy drinks for the girls you want to talk to. Beyond that it’s take it or leave it. It’s just liquor - no mystery, not secret adult pleasure, no hidden powers.
This is not to say that we don’t have our share of drunken driving, date-rapes and violent alcoholics. Ask one of our country’s heroic social workers to tell you some of the effects of alcohol on the Bahamian family. It makes the other drugs look like small-time punks. But as a nation I am proud of the average person’s understanding of the benefits and as well as the detrimental effects of the liquor. We have some ways to go but for once I don’t feel like we are near the back of the class.

- Dsus Imbibes

Chapter III Verse I - Dsus?

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 08:00:00 +0000

Now that I have had a chance to share some of my opinions with you I would like to tell you a bit about Dsus and the point of this blog.

The point is to reflect on some of the frustrations and joys of our Bahamas. Some you may recognize, others you may not. Either way, these words are pointless without you. The truth is I love you. Not personally mind you, but since you are a part of the living organism known as Earth I appreciate your existence. God be with you.

But how do you feel? Do you disagree? Agree? Think I missed something? Get your fingers on the keyboard and tell me about it.

This entire blog and the info in it is my opinion so I’m not going to waste my words with a bunch of ‘in my opinions’, ‘I thinks’ or ‘I have founds’. They are implied.

As to the name itself. The name is Dee-Sus (like Jesus but with a D). Am I trying to mock the famous Christian hero? Certainly not. But there is a message. The man many people now call Jesus Christ was originally Yahshuah or Yeshua or a similar spelling. Through various translations it became Jesus. The Christ was a Greek addition. I don't like these changes. His boys called him Yeshua, I'm gonna call him Yeshua.

But why do I care about a name? Does it really change anything?
Well, let’s say you told me a story about a person you knew, a story that was full of hard-to-believe details. The story is interesting, but then I find out that although you have a lot of ‘news’ about this person you do not even know their real name. I would be concerned. I would think that maybe you don't have the full story. Especially if you didn't understand the person you were telling me about. It's like your Spanish-speaking great-grandmother telling you the reasons Eminem was beefing with Ja Rule.

The next thing is that some of the biggest untruths come from a widespread agreement not to ask questions. Questions such as:
Why don't we know more about the real name of a man who's life story is the subject of the most popular book of all time?
Why don't we research the information we are fed about the people we love?
Why do we agree to pray to a name that we don't know about?
Are not idol worshippers those who sing praises to icons, images and names that they do not understand?

What does that have to do with me and my name?
To me the name Jesus Christ represents a particular interpretation of religious history. I have found that many of the people that like saying Jesus often distort the teachings of Yeshua to match their own opinions or worse, for selfish motivations. By using the name Dsus, I hope to upset some of these people.

The Book of Dsus is also a distortion. It is a magnification of certain characteristics, a focus. I would like it to capture the spirit of Earth’s most famous rebel. I want embody some of his humble righteousness and put society’s needs over my own ambitions. I also want to make sure you go and learn about names like Jesus and where they came from. Even if it’s just so you can tell me how wrong I am.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter II Verse IV - Race-schism pt.IV

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 08:00:00 +0000

I do not believe that humans naturally dislike each other. In my daily life there are more examples of people trying to understand than hate. To prove this, examine a pattern that you would consider mean. Often the reason for the mean behavior comes more from desperation than evil.

Our traffic patterns are a great example. Much of the counter-productive, selfish behavior comes from fear; fear of being hit, fear of being late, fear of looking stupid or weak. Reduce the situations in which a person will be afraid (blind corners, narrow roads with no sidewalks) and you reduce the levels of mean.
Using this method to look for the reasons behind segregation, we find the reason another basic element of humanity; desire. One of the fastest ways to understand why a person does what they do is to know what they want. Desire comes up a lot, actually. Here are some of my favourite examples of desire and how we satisfy each:

What we desire (D)
What we sacrifice for it (S)

D: Television
S: Time with each other, time outside

D: Laziness
S: Our goals, self-improvement

D: Vanity
S: Wisdom

D: Expensive car/house that we cannot afford to maintain
S: Money to save and invest

D: Fear (disguised as respect) from your female partner
S: Love, respect

D: Endless material goods from a sugar daddy
S: Love, respect

D: An economic system that bases labour prices and access to resources on skin colour
S: Racial harmony

D: A society free of marijuana, a favourite indulgence of the working class
S: Increased use of cheap forms of release such as junk food, alcohol and violence

D: Cheap, exploitable labour
S: A healthy and balanced immigrant population

And then there is the amount that we want. We don't want to have 'enough'. We want 'too much' and there is not enough for all of us to have 'too much'. Face it or not we affect each other. If you want more and more someone else has to get less and less.
Example: If you want to eat cheap beef and chicken every day a lot of people have to starve. Don’t believe me? Read about the way that farm subsidies affect the price of plant crops. Nearly every basic human need and want has been manipulated by our greed and laziness to create a perverse, profit driven, class-creating machine.

In our tiny Bahamaland it is easy to see the effects of this machine. Some of us have enough, some of us have nothing and some of us are choking on our own fat. It seems we all want the steaks, the gas-guzzlers, the gold and diamonds. Life is short right? But if you have the winner take all attitude keep in mind that you will not always win. Expect the same mercy that you showed the person that you defeated in your race to the top. To pull from Mr. Kweli: “Get yours first, them other niggas secondary, that type o’ illin that be fillin up the cemetery.”

So we put everybody outside: My country against the world, my neighborhood against my country, my family against my neighborhood, me and my brother against my family, me and God against my brother (thank you K’naan). If we adjust that old saying a bit, the relationship between racial tension and personal greed becomes more obvious:

Most of the Bahamas' wealth is for me and the people who look like me, everyone else can do without,
Most of that wealth is for me and my family, the other people who look like me can do without,
Most of that wealth is for me, my spouse and the kids, the rest of the family can do without,
Most of that wealth is for me, you never know when that sucker might ask for a divorce and take the kids.

And there we are. Nice stuff or harmony? Love it or change it.
Thanks to everyone who made it through four heavy blogs. Next time it's something light-hearted, I promise.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter II Verse III - Race-schism pt.III

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 08:00:00 +0000

As promised, Marketing and Media or It’s not all your fault.

Marketing is about convincing you to spend money on something specific. It can motivate us to do things we should do but don’t want to – charity, education, health. It can make us value useless junk and services –colored toilet paper, politicians.

When it comes to racial divides, marketing is like the worst kids from high school rolled into one. It tells us who is cool, how bad is too bad, who’s pretty and who’s smart. We listen. Why? Because we think everyone else listens. Plus it is easier to prove how valuable we are if we use standards everyone can recognize. And what is life without proving how valuable we are to each other and the world? Vanity is lethal.

Like bullies and gossips the advertisers know when to lie and when to tell the truth. They oversimplify. They listen to our fears and repeat them to us. They know a lot of healthy girls think they are fat. They know guys are concerned with looking tough. At times, they sound like your best friend. “I’ll help you look pretty . . . I’ll make you strong . . . I’ll make you popular. I’m the only one who really understands you.”

If they are going to make a connection they have to reach us. So they use stereotypes to save time. Attractive black woman translates to brown skin model with relaxed hair. Strong black woman means an actress with darker skin and natural hair. They show it in the ad, we see it, soak it up and perpetuate it. It seems oddly true that the more famous a black woman gets the more they blast her with light and brighten her skin. I have watched Queen Latifah, Beyoncé and Halle Berry lighten from cover to cover to L’Oreal covergirl. The problem with this sort of packaging is that it’s not true. You can’t tell if a person is tough or soft based on their skin and hair texture. But advertisers don’t have time to get how things really are, they are about selling, not truth. Besides, the more segregated people are, the more categories there are to market to.

You ever notice the carbon-copy ads on Black Entertainment Television? This still kind of freaks me out. On one of the regular (mostly white people) networks you see white people in a white house with white kids (and one black friend). They are selling you soap/food/car. It’s boring and expensive. Then you see the same advertisement on BET. It looks the same and sounds the same but this time its black people in a black house with black kids (and one white friend). The dog is optional.

I wonder how they shoot these ads. I can almost hear the white director yelling (meaner than he was with the white actors) “All right, let’s get the black family on set, lunch in 30 minutes”. I think they should do some black versions with the Wayans family, Dave Chappelle and Wu-tang doing the jingle: Buy Ivory Bitches!99.44% pure like my Columbian rawgo to the store or I’ll bring it to your door

But this stuff doesn’t affect us right? We find things we can connect with, not just what’s on the radio and in Music Videos, right? Clothes and cars can’t really be black or white, can they?

If we let the big advertisers tell us how to define race, beauty and success we can expect the kind of shallow, selfish categorization that makes white people and black people feel like different people. It’s that simple.

The last part - Nice Stuff -next, phew.

Chapter II Verse II - Race-schism pt.II

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:00:00 +0000

Note from Dsus: I’ll still be monitoring the comments section to get ideas for the next topics to explore so if you want to disagree, offer a direction or whatever, leave a comment.
Thanks to everyone (both of you) who commented in time for this update.

With my part in this race topic out of the way I want to move on to more general ground. Where does it start? I say does because while there are significant historical reasons for race conflict I believe there are more immediate, daily reasons that we keep up this segregation.

Insecurity

There is insecurity, so often at the heart of violence and hatred. Enter a new situation and we immediately figure out the people we want to be like and talk to and the people we want avoid. What are the two main groups at a party? The boys and the girls. If that don’t say it all right there. After those two you have groups of people who know each other. Half of these are talking about why they like or don’t like people in the other groups. Everyone’s reassuring themselves that they are better than the people around – “I might not be the best dressed but I look better than him/her”.

The point of most of these social situations – party/office/school - becomes to compete with each other instead of learn about each other. And when you are talking about each other you don’t need things like facts. It’s easier and more fun to make those up. So we use race and economic status (too often these two are hand-in-hand) to classify each other, to mock each other and to reassure ourselves that we are superior to most of the people on the planet.

I am special, damn it!

To support this competition and comparison it is essential that we think we are different from each other. That “everyone is a unique snowflake” thinking that makes us value being individuals but forget that all snowflakes are made of water. It’s the same thinking that makes us think that all the ‘criminals’ are chemically different from us. Vanity.

There is a small percentage of people that skew the graph but on the whole most of us want health, the chance to be creative, safety and room to grow. And nice stuff*. Look at how many cultures love music, food and art independently of one another. But the more alike we are the less we stand out and we are busy trying to star in our own music video. We count the things that separate us before the things that tie us together.

The tragic part is that we are so busy trying to be the best at what we think will make us the most popular, we miss the part of ourselves that is unique. Developing your talents - whether in dog grooming or eye surgery - is the path to individuality, social consciousness, fulfillment and popularity.

We don’t get to know ourselves though, because we are running between being like everyone else and standing out. We want clothes that everyone can recognize but no-one has, that car that everyone wants but no-one can afford and a God that everyone knows but no-one worships like us. Sick, huh?

Cooperation makes it happen, Cooperation (you know the rest)

So there are two of the worst culprits, insecurity and vanity. They screw up all kinds of things. Fortunately we know what to do. Stop being jerks. Investigate instead of assume. Say something kind instead of something mean. Seek to understand instead of to be understood.

I often take heart in this quote from Soul on Ice by Eldridge Cleaver, published in 1968: “Competition is the Law of the Jungle and Cooperation is the Law of Civilization.”

Final two: Marketing and Media; *Nice stuff.

Chapter II Verse I - Race-schism

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:00:00 +0000

Note from Dsus: I’ll be monitoring the comments section to get ideas for the next aspects of this topic to explore so if you want to disagree, offer a direction or whatever, leave a comment.

This is one of a series. I don’t know how many there will be but I have a lot to say. It’s about prejudice and racism so this could take a while.

To begin with, let’s separate prejudice and racism. Prejudice is just what it sounds like - pre-judging; making assumptions with little or no evidence.

Racism has two explanations, both potent. One is the belief that certain characteristics are based on race or ethnicity. The other, paraphrased from the United Nations International Conventions, is: “Treating someone better or worse than average based on their race, colour or where they are from. I’ll leave the first point for now because I want to draw attention to the second definition. It shows that racism involves treating a person a particular way and requires the power to affect people. You might hate people from Australia but if you don’t live there or have any influence over them you are just thinking about how much you hate them. To be a racist you have to act on these feelings and affect somebody.

To be fair I’ll start with my part in this island drama. Dsus is a bright skinned Bahamian and I don’t just mean my heavenly glow. This means a number of things. First though, to everyone out there who thinks it’s easy living in The Bahamas with bright skin, F*ck you. From my heart. Drink it up. And I want all my gentle readers to know that I don’t take expletives lightly. But this aint the kiddies section of the pool.

Now that I have your attention let me explain some of my anger. There are only so many Bahamians. I’m one. I have lived here all my life. When I go to other countries they call me Bahamian. If beings from Mars started killing Bahamians I am killing me some Martians. I’ll have a Martian-finger necklace. But when I’m wandering around my lovely archipelago I don’t always feel like one of the crew.

When you look different from the people around you it can overpower your goals. It’s like something to get out of the way. The same thing happens if you have to wear crutches. Eventually someone’s going to say, “What happened to your leg?” In my case that often takes the form of ‘Do you consider yourself white or black?’ Answer: I consider myself B-R-O-K-E.

If you want to get personal, I’m barely working class. Why do I put my financial status before my proud mixed heritage? Because class has more impact on what kind of life I lead than my skin or ethnicity. I know how to change a tire. I know what it’s like to ride a bus for four hours a day, what it’s like to have to do a job because you have to buy food. What it’s like to make too many decisions based on cost. Two words people: RAMEN NOODLES.

I can relate more to a man who robs another man of jewelry than to someone who robs hundreds of people of their retirement money with phony financial reports.

I know what it’s like to be ridiculed because I look or act different. I know what it’s like for people to assume things about me without taking the time to ask. I suspect a lot of you out there – from pale white to ebony black- know exactly where I’m coming from.

So, get to know people, people! Stop assuming dumb things about each other. People are made of more than their chemical parts! More on this thought on Wednesday. . .

- Dsus Pays

Chapter I Verse X - Know Thyself

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 08:00:00 +0000

There used to be an old wooden sign that said in black, bold letters, ‘Know Thyself’. The sign was attached firmly to a turquoise building on the southern side of Shirley Street (just after you pass Kemp Road heading west) and if you were heading west you could not easily miss it. The whole thing looked as if it was produced with the hope that anyone who could read the sign, would.

No matter how many times I read those two words they made me think. A lot of us don’t get to know ourselves. Self-examination is hard and involves uncomfortable questions. Plus we are too busy figuring out what other people like so that we can manipulate them.

I often wonder what kind of decisions people would make if they were not so busy looking cool and being cold. Many times I have been part of a conversation when a person has said something like “I hate techno music”. This sort of divisive statement starts a pattern: The sheeple in the group rush to echo and cheer. The rebels in the group rebel but only to attract attention. Those people in the group that do like techno will probably keep their opinion to themselves. These kinds of statements force people to choose sides rather than express opinions. Why doesn’t it come out more like: “Does anyone here like techno music? I can’t figure out why people are into it.” This approach makes people think and gives them the chance to be honest. It allows some of us to like it, some of us not to and all of us to learn something. It is not as simple as one question, I know. We have to care about each other and be interested in learning something (Ahahahahahaha, as if! Ahahahahahahahaha).

Talking to people that are different from us gives us the chance to learn about a lifestyle unlike our own without having to deal with the consequences. Plus, if you offer understanding instead of judgment, you will find love and genius in the most unusual places. We can be right and different at the same time. We can also be good and different at the same time.

We like to classify in terms of right and wrong. If we can’t find a clear right and wrong we will use ‘normal’. If you dress particular ways, eat particular foods and talk about particular things you will be considered ‘normal’. Most of us want to be considered exceptional but if pushed we’ll take normal. That’s sad because it strangles individuality. Necessity creates tradition and individuality creates progress. As individuality dies tradition becomes oppressive and mechanical.

Often the things we most dislike about others are things that we dislike about ourselves. When something about another person makes you upset, consider how you would handle the same situation. It may surprise how much you share with people you dislike.

Using this principle to take the golden rule a little further, I would echo Sizzla by saying we should judge our neighbor’s actions with the same mercy that we judge our own. Knowing yourself is to know that you don’t look cute on the toilet, that you have made some dumb decisions and that the things you dislike about your life are your responsibility. By knowing that we are less than perfect we get closer to allowing other people to be less than perfect. Then, instead of being right and wrong we can just be ourselves.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter I Verse IX - Just 'Cause We Fat

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:00:00 +0000

Too many Bahamians are overweight. Too many of us bury our looks and health under layers of lustful meals. It is unhealthy, unattractive and preventable.

Bahamians love to eat.
Nearly every function we have involves food. We want plenty to eat, plenty to drink, something to snack on and some to take home. We will go to the most boringest, aint-nobody-worthwhile-gonna-be-there, out of the way party if we know there will be good food.

We eat crap.
Ahhhhhh the Bahamian food groups: Fat, Starch and Meat. Typical meal: Fried chicken, potato salad, peas ‘n’ rice, macaroni and cheese, plantain, ketchup. What a greasy mess. Besides the fact that this combination is as balanced as a one-legged dog with no foot, we eat this kind of meal every day, sometimes twice a day. Where is the boiled, baked and steamed food? Where are the vegetables? Where the hell is the fruit? We are like the McDonalds of the Caribbean. Other island people seem to include more native foods and don’t fry or coat everything in fat. Our diet seems to be copied from the loyalists who brought grits and chicken when they came with their cotton trees and stolen Africans.

We encourage fatness
I read a recent study that suggested that fat people like to hang out together and encourage each other’s bad habits. If you have tried to stop a bad habit then you know what it can be like: “You sure you don’t want any potato salad? Auntie made it just cause she knew you were coming.” “Girl you don’t need to lose no weight, you know how much guys like them solid gals.” Sometimes, these people are afraid that your changing means you won’t be friends with them anymore and sometimes people will discourage you because they use you as confidence booster – “Well at least I am not as fat as so-and-so.”

Food addiction is no joke.
We take it for granted only because we are all addicted. Consider this: You don’t ever need to eat salt or processed sugar in your life nor should you. So why do you do it? Lust. With a little bit of reflection and research you will probably realize that most of the food you eat is because of lust, not need. How bad is this lust? If I told you that a person had AIDS would you keep having sex with them? If you did would you be surprised if you get infected and die? And yet, people advised by medical professionals to stop eating fat, sugar and salt continue to do so. They ignore advice to exercise. Then they die of food-related illnesses such as heart disease and diabetes. I think we should replace the names for food-related illnesses with “Eattoomuch”. So instead of saying “My Father died from a heart attack” it would be “My Father died from eattoomuch.” That way we can all get a better idea of how many people are really dying because of food.

Just so you know this aint no book knowledge I’m sharing here. I was overweight for years (Up to 205 pounds instead of 155). I lost the weight after a 7-year-battle that, most of the time, got the best of me. Because of this, I know that until YOU decide that YOU want to be thinner it is hopeless to try anything. But, the second, the very moment that YOU decide that YOU want to lose weight more than YOU want to be fat, no force can stop YOU from achieving YOUR goal. So decide Bahamas!

- Dsus Pays

Chapter I Verse VIII - Mind your Manners

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 08:00:00 +0000

One of the biggest differences I notice between walking around in south Florida and walking around in the Bahamaland is what happens after you look a stranger in the eyes. In Florida, people will stare at you or look through you before passing. But here, when you look someone in the eyes, you get something. You get a nod, a word or two or some type of general “YesssIIIII”

Here you can start a conversation in line at the bank with some idiotic statement of the obvious like, “It’s hot hey?” Within seconds of asking that question you will often be bombarded with detailed information about the people in your immediate area, including their celebrations, frustrations and life goals.

Most importantly, if you call someone rude it means something. People do not want to be thought of as rude or mannerless. If you are a tough guy, whatever, but how many thugs want his boys saying he is rude to mums?

But as the insecurity of this young, careless nation blends with the arrogance of consuming, powerful America, we seem desperate to prove how much we don’t need each other. People have less time to hold the door open, to say thank you. And I’m including all of us – old people, young people, white people, poor people.

True story: I’m in the main postal building (I refuse to call it an office of any sort) and one of the people in uniform (notice I did not say person who works there) is on a cell phone. Not unusual. The person I am with says good afternoon twice to the bloated, balding, sweaty pile on the opposite side of the counter. He answers neither time. Disturbed, I said to porky, “You could have said good afternoon”. I get a defiant “What?” So I repeat it, louder. He says he was doing something, realizes the something he was doing was talking on his cell phone and looks embarrassed. I was too angry to tell him that I wished people like him would learn or die quickly.

So yes, sometimes I too am mad at the world. Often I feel like I hate everyone in this whole country and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna waste my time saying hello to one more sorry excuse for a compatriot who is not even going to say hello back. I’ve said this in my head and I’ve done it.

And then, someone I don’t expect will say hello. Some rich business type will go out of her way to make sure she leaves space for my car when she parks or some angry-looking young man on the street will manage a “Blessed love soldier” as his face bursts into a smile. Then all the resentment melts away. I remember then that the good morning I say might be the thing that pulls someone else out of this mud-hole we call living and remind them that mud is good for roots. Hopefully this will help you remember as well.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter I Verse VII - Who, Me?

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 08:00:00 +0000

Many people I know express an interest in being the boss of something – their lover, the company they work for, the country. But do we really want to be the boss or do we just want to be treated like one?

I ask because of the lack of good leadership. Make a list of all the Bahamians you would follow somewhere and you’ll see what I mean. We don’t like taking responsibility. In fact, most Bahamians would rather nail a 6-inch metal spike through their foot than say the words “That was my fault”.

But why this fear of blame? Well, we always gotta be cool and it’s not cool to be wrong or make mistakes. So we run from situations that could lead to us having to say something was our fault.

In addition to not wanting responsibility is a lack of interest in following orders. So we end up with a situation where nothing gets done. I know because I see it. I have tried to plan things with friends. Food, music, location; easy, right? But nooooooooooooo. If it was a song it would go something like this:

You told ‘em where the party was?
I can’t really find no ride, cuz,
I thought it was at his house!
Aint she was s’posed to bring da souse?
What happened was my mummy said. . .
I was right on time but my dog dead,
I couldn’t bring any liquor, but gimmie one beer dread,
You could wrap that in some foil with maybe piece-a bread?

It’s tragic. Worse, it’s not unusual. Most of our events feel like they were planned twenty minutes ago by people that don’t really care if anyone participates.

Are we going to leave it this way or are we ready to say it’s my fault? Cause you live here too. People in Japan don’t blame Hubert or the PLP or Batelco for the problems with our country. They blame you and me. When Batelco accidentally put XXX on the cover of our phone books, then put marker over it, do you think people who read that said, “Wow! How unfortunate for those intelligent Bahamians to have such a foolish phone company?” Or was it more like, “Look what those island people did now . . . they are good to smuggle drugs but they are not so good with details.”

What can we do? Let’s look at an example: Maurice and Omar are headed to a party. Maurice is driving and Omar has directions. That makes Omar the boss and Maurice the employee. Maurice could ignore Omar and drive into a tree. Omar could direct Maurice into a tree. But none of those choices works well for either of them. Instead, Omar should tell Maurice where to go, Maurice should go there and they should both get wild like Paris Hilton on Ecstasy.

So be the navigator or be the driver but know which one you are and do your job properly. Then we can all party.

- Dsus Pays

Chapter I Verse VI - Generalize-nation

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:00:00 +0000

Well a lot of Bahamians enjoy generalization. 3That sentence is one example. But how much does it affect us? How much do we really believe that the people around us do things because they are black, white, fat, rich, female, stupid? What are some of the most basic assumptions we make in this country?

White skin = rich or at least got more money than most, has a superiority complex
Dreadlocks, corn rows = smokes weed, rebellious
Tight/revealing clothes = has sex a lot, vain
Dressed in a suit = not dangerous, good job
Male of Haitian descent = landscape engineer, violent
Black = was born with rhythm, is better suited to crime than other races
Young = has no good ideas, wants to destroy the country

How often are these assumptions really true? How often do we pre-judge people so much that we see what we want to see and miss the chance to learn something from someone different? A lot of the time we might learn that we are not that different from each other. Yes, a lot of the assumptions we make about people are based on experience but we have to consider things carefully.
Marion Jones lied about steroid use. That makes her a liar. She is also black, American and a woman. Does that mean that black American women lie? Yes. Does that mean that all black American women lie? No. Does that mean that some liars are black American women? Yes. Bottom line: If you are trying to figure out if someone is lying to you, it is not very useful to know whether they are a black, American or a woman. This is true of nearly all our assumptions.

We see some movies with Asian people fighting and suddenly everyone from the east is a deadly ninja. How many Asian people have we really studied? How many of them have ever done even one fighting pose? There are more than 1 billion people in China alone. So even if you have met one million Chinese people you have still met less than .1%. Do you really want to make assumptions about 1 billion people based on less than .1% of the population? How would people judge The Bahamas if they picked the most famous .1%?

We also define each other in strange ways. People are considered successful based on how much money they have instead of how happy they are, they are black because of the music they listen to instead of their skin colour and smart based on the clothes they wear instead of their ability to achieve goals.
The thing is, that method is just not efficient, it paints a false picture. So while it’s okay to say that you have seen differences between black and white people when they dance, it’s not okay to assume that the person you just met can or can’t dance because of their skin colour. Why not ask them if they can? Better yet, why not ask them if they like to dance?

- Dsus Pays

Chapter I Verse V - Can God be a Girl?

noreply@blogger.com (Dsus) — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 08:00:00 +0000

Many of today's religions are built around the concept of a single, male God, a Father. But where’s Mum? In the case of the trinity, there is God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. This really confuses me because there is space for two guys and an asexual being but no girl.

I mean no insult or disrespect but I must explain myself plainly. When I look at the world there is balance everywhere. No exceptions. Then I look at something up close: Hot and cold are two different manifestations of temperature and their balanced interaction is essential for life. You could not define one without the other. And yet, when we look to the creative force in our universe it is to a single, male figure.

Male energy is active- doing. Female energy is passive- feeling. This is a general statement however and, in practice, both genders use both types of energy in whatever ratios they choose. I don’t believe one is better than another since both are essential. Most of the people I know respect male energy more. This leads me to the question: Do they respect male energy more because they call God a father or did they start calling Him Father because they respect male energy more?

See, I like girls. A lot. I don’t just mean that I like their bodies, although I do; in fact the female body is my favourite of God’s creations so far. But, I also like the way girls think, talk, move, dress, eat. Many times those differences drive me insane. Many, many times. But I would not trade them. I can’t be around males all the time. I need to hear a female perspective on things at least once a day or the world is not in order.
Sadly, I have more respect for women than a lot of the women I know do. So many of my beautiful Bahamian ladies distort their image to appeal to the most juvenile of male behavior. Too often they fight and bicker and hate each other. INSECURITY. Why do we so often doubt a compliment and so quickly believe an insult? Stop hating yourselves ladies. God loves you and values you. God made you look the way you do for a reason. You really want to argue with God about your appearance? Does arguing with God usually work out well?

Try this and learn something: See how people react to the image of God as a Mother. Note the reactions when it’s just guys, just ladies and when they are together. Women usually strongly reject the idea. The guys not so much. I used to think that it was social conditioning that made my female friends react so strongly. Then I realized how many women I know want to mold their lives to a man’s life. For a woman devoted to God as a Father I can imagine her faith being an extension of a tendency to follow a male lead. Perhaps the ladies I have asked (it’s in the dozens) don’t want to consider what life would be like if they lived for a female God. I think it’s time they do and we do. What do you think?

- Dsus Pays