Chapter III Verse IV - Dsus Touched Me

I got a forward this week warning of a new rape technique. The subject was a drug called Progesterex and a new trend of guys using it to drug women as part of a date-rape plot. Scary email.

It took 0.13 seconds for Google to find results for the term Progesterex and tell me that it is part of an internet hoax. The same thing was true for the Tommy Hilfiger story and his imaginary interview on Oprah where he supposedly said that he doesn't want black people wearing his clothes. The only time Hilfiger has been on Oprah was to squash that rumor.

The idea of sharing information with each other is great. At its best, a forward enriches my life or protects me from the bad data out there. At its worst, a forward is an attempt to show me how smart/cool/important someone is. Either way, it does not take that long to copy and paste a couple of key words into Google to find out if what you are sharing is useful or crap.

I remember waiting for weeks for the right combination of
A: Tape that could record (or had paper stuffed in the holes at the top)
B. Radio that could record and
C: ZNS DJ.

But today, there is the 24-hour data stream known as the World Wide Web. Here you can donate money to various charities by clicking on a link or adding a symbol to your messenger window. Search for the life story of Jesus, Hitler or Gandhi. Check out a lesser-known rapper on MySpace or shop for products from every corner of the planet. Of course most of us are busy with porn, but it’s up to you.

On the other side of the web is this ubiquitous network called electronic mail. How many of us would send letters compared with how many of us send email? But since we stopped licking stamps we all got sloppy. Now every chain letter ever written and every sappy story of good things happening to poor people must be sent to ‘All in Inbox’. Stop!

When you are sending email or posting data consider the following items. If it isn’t worth thinking about this list then it’s not worth sending the forward.

1. Take a moment to find out if it’s true. The major networks may lie but they are not going to miss the opportunity to sell you an easy story like a new date rape drug. That’s easy headlines right there.
   
2. Make data easy to access so that the person can see it without scrolling through lines of gibberish.
   
3. Forward the window with the actual message. Do not forward the original email. That way the recipient will not have to open message after message - each with successive layers of flaming, glowing and otherwise animated text - to read some crappy message that is probably a full of empty sentiments about Jesus. I’m gonna make a Jesus-forward virus. Consider yourself warned.
   
4. Delete everyone else’s email from the message before you send it. Leaving a long list of your friend’s emails is a great way to make sure they get junk mail and viruses (like the one I plan to send). In fact, send blind copies so no-one else can see that you have sent it to 99 other people.

If you want to blame big business for the limited content of television, movies, music and magazines go ahead. The great profit machine owns all of the big ones. But the internet is ours if we want it. Share wisely.


- Dsus Pays