Chapter III Verse VII - Respect My Authority!

Many times when wandering the Bahamian landscape we run into a situation where we are not going to be in control. Maybe a policeman is directing traffic, a security guard is going to search us or a nurse is going to tell us to take off all our clothes. Yay.

This loss of control is often made even more unpleasant by the fact that many of us seem to go through a strange change when we get any sort of power. We become power-happy asses. These folks are often easy to spot. They are loud, insistent and unbending. They like to belittle, to remind and to point out. Perhaps you recognize the following species:

Drivus likanassus – This beast appears after a person has emerged victorious from a driving battle and gotten in front of you. Now that they are in front, they are going to do their best to drive as slowly as possible, drift into the middle of the road and generally remind you that they are in control.

Dumbanddangerous policeikus – This is a police officer who has been given more power than brains. This particular type of offender believes that his highest purpose in life is to remind all non-police officers of their lower social status. They can often be seen strutting back and forth, looking suspiciously at every male in the area and reminding you which areas are off-limits.

Insecuritas guardita - Though less dangerous than the Dumbanddangerous policeikus, the Insecuritas guardita can be just as frustrating. This is especially true when they in charge of concert tickets, information or anything more complicated than opening a door. They can often be heard trying to sound tough saying things like “take your time big man” or “hold on sweet girl” and been seen fiddling with the volume of a radio that they never talk into.

Queen bee-atch - This is a person with information that you need. They are at the bank, at your school and in many offices. You don’t like talking to them because they are evil. But they know something that you need to know. Sadly, the more specific your question the more vague an answer you will receive. When you also consider the fact that they will only answer one question at a time, you end up at this kind of conversation:

You: Good afternoon, I’m looking for Mr. Smith in room 103. I have an appointment. Can you tell me how to get to room 103 please?
Queen bee-atch: (Not looking up from her very important work) Mmmmmmmmm?
You: I’m here to see Mr. Smith in room 103. I have an appo. . . .
Queen bee-atch: Mr. Smith?
You: Yes.
Queen bee-atch: Does he know your coming?
You: Yes. I have an appointment.
Queen bee-atch: Do you know what room he is in?
You: Yes, 103.
Queen bee-atch: Do you know how to get there?
You: No. Can you tell me?
Queen bee-atch: Yes. But Mr. Smith left at half day because he was not feeling well.
You: (Pull out your oversized firearm and fire it until the chamber’s empty.)

There are a lot of examples, sadly. Why we so often become the people we hate is beyond me. My guess is that some of us feel that we lack control in our own lives and enjoy the opportunity to feel important. Too often we forget what it is like to be the person on the other end. Respect should be earned, not forced. When you use a position to control others you rob that position of its true authority, which is always created by responsibility.

- Dsus Pays